I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I think my fart just growled at me.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
