look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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