i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
