i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
