I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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