My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
