Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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