Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
try to milk me bitch
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
