we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
