We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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