bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
