The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
NoShamevember. You game?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
why does every cop we meet know your name?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
