My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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