Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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