Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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