I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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