woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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