i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
