i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize