Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
it was like eating out sand paper
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
The uberlube is also flammable
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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