dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
