the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
