i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
