it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
