Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
false alarm, still single
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
