yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
