PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Thank you for not boning my boss.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
