Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Everything about him screamed your future.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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