I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
