Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
