I bet he comes in French.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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