Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
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