He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
