You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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