Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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