hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
