when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
