why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
