dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
