I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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