Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
