the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
