Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
just found out that she named her cat after me.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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