Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize