Well douche your snatch and let's go!
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
