party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
