Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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