R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
