My room smells like vodka and shame
i just wanna soil my oats bro
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
