I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
